The Mechanism

After orgasm, the hypothalamus produces Oxytocin and Lactose. And that ruins everything. The penis becomes soft and hypersensitive. The nervous system in the lower back responds to these substances. It suddenly becomes painful and very unpleasant to continue jerking, for example. The interest in everything sexual can even turn into aversion. Some men are hardly bothered by this and can easily continue afterwards. Even in early puberty one can be so horny that the turn-off is hardly noticeable. Other men can be like a candle being blown out. They need time to recover. This is called refraction.

Refraction with a Partner

When having sex with a partner, the turnoff can be annoying.

Women don’t have a refraction. With a female partner, sometimes the frustration is that just when it gets very pleasant, the party is over as soon as a man has cummed. At the same time, it can also be the salvation for a woman who feels more obliged to meet the lusts of a man than that she herself wants sex. In cases of abusing men, it can therefore put an end to an unpleasant situation.

It can also be a bit difficult for two men. Normally one comes first. Who then loses interest. But does think that the other should also come too. Two men who are one in such a way that they sometimes have to really feel which penis is attached to whom can feel another effect. One’s orgasm can then trigger the refraction response in the other’s brain. The same substances are released as if he himself just had an orgasm. The one who has already come can do what he wants, but the other is no longer able to have an orgasm. Because that body thinks it has already had one.

The other way around is also possible with two men. They can merge mentally. But also the penis mind can become connected so that it becomes one system. Then when one penis comes, the other will come too. Or even at the same time. There are even known cases where this can happen almost without any physical contact. There is nothing conscious to agree on, it is only the two penises themselves that must be completely on one wavelength.

Dealing with Refraction

Once a penis is past orgasm, there will always be need for a break. A moment to refill the glasses. To light a cigarette.

Just going to sleep can also be a good option. In the middle of the night, or the next morning, going again for the second round, can be much more pleasant.

The orgasm of a penis is such that every penis has to recover from the shock. It is possible for a man to get this under control. This takes a lot of time and practice.

Reducing Refraction

Some men can have very heavy turn-offs. A normal refraction takes a few minutes. But there are also men who can take hours. Where they can even feel themselves dirty and be slightly depressed. Even when they are still young. The duration of the turnoff may also become longer as age increases.

The turnoff is still relatively poorly researched. There are drugs that reduce the effect, such as carbagoline. But they have not yet been released for this purpose. It also has to do with the fact that men do not go to a doctor quickly and see it as a complaint.

Another way is orgasm control. Which is also described in some books as “Tantric Sex”. It is possible to separate things. Having a wonderful orgasm, even several, but stopping the brain from making the substances that ruin the party.


The turnoff should be better researched. However, it is difficult to measure.

It has also probably never been properly researched to what extent the turnoff plays a role in men who, after having had their orgasms, proceed to abuse or worse. It is obvious, however, that the feeling of self-loathing that can occur with a major turn-off might well play a role in this. While it is essentially just a chemical reaction that could be addressed.